By Randall Radic
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Additional resources for A Priest in Hell: Gangs, Murderers and Snitching in a California Jail
Inside is a large waiting area, like in a hospital. The points to two yellow feet painted on the floor. “Stand there,” she orders. 25 RANDALL RADIC I step on the yellow footprints. Disassociated, that’s how I feel. Like I’m sitting in a theater watching a movie, a movie about me, starring me. Yet I sit quiescent, beholding myself, aware of what is happening on the screen, to me, yet none of it is real. Like it’s make-believe. But it’s not. ” rasps the . Her back is to me as she enters my data into the computer.
She wears an official polo shirt, which is either light gray or off-white. I can’t decide. Official blue slacks, black shoes. She holds a clipboard. I walk over to her. ” she asks. ” 32 A PRIEST IN HELL I follow her around a corner to another section of the waiting room. This section is smaller and has four tables with folding chairs at each table. She takes a seat at one of the tables. I sit across from her. “I’m Ruiz,” she says, looking at her clipboard. She looks up at me. “I’m a probation officer, assigned to ask you some questions regarding your status.
I give him Sharla’s cell number. ” she says. Anxiety fills her voice. “Hey,” I say. “Where are you? ” she asks. “I’m fine. ” “Yes, I’m good. ” “Yes. ” I ask. “I called him. He’s in court. ” “Okay. Thanks, sweet girl. Remember, I love you,” I say. ” “I love you,” she replies. ” I turn to Detective Sauer. ” “No, you can’t,” I say. ” She is crying now. “I love you. I’m counting on you,” I tell her. The words come out of my mouth without any sensation behind them. “I know,” she says. ” I hand the handset to Detective Sauer.